A Message to Army Leaders for Thanksgiving
Our Army is no stranger to being away from home for the holidays. My wife used to have a running count of all the birthdays, weddings, Valentines’ Days, Thanksgivings, and Christmases I had missed since we got married, but I think she just gave up. After getting to know more senior officers and NCOs through the years, we realized our list dwarfs in comparison to many.
Some of my fondest memories are of holidays away from home. Together, we learned to make the best of it. In Afghanistan, we did a Secret Santa on Christmas Eve with gag gifts (I still have mine). On Christmas Day, the lead pilot of our troop dressed up as Santa when he got off shift and we all took pictures with him next to a fully loaded AH-64D (an odd juxtaposition) as we got ready for our mission that evening. In Iraq, I made my first sergeant watch Die Hard with me (arguably the greatest Christmas movie of all time).
We missed home, family, and friends in those moments, but we had each other. Simply not being home for the holidays is not the problem. Not being around people who care about you during the holidays is a problem.
Growing up, I was privileged to have parents who did everything within their means to make the holidays perfect. I was blissfully unaware of what a difficult time the holidays can be for many people. Leading soldiers is more personal than tactical, less Audie Murphy and more Dr. Phil. In my short time as an Army officer, I have learned more about soldiers’ personal lives than I ever imagined I would. As a cadet, I did not realize how much of my future job would consist of helping soldiers cope with family or social issues, substance abuse, death, financial hardships etc. In many cases, the holidays exacerbate, rather than remedy these issues.
One week from today, Thanksgiving will mark the start of the strangest holiday season we will (hopefully) ever go through. As COVID-19 cases spike across the nation, we will see more restrictions on travel and large gatherings. Furthermore, many families are suffering financially as our world continues to deal with the economic ramifications of the pandemic. Even if our soldiers and families are permitted to travel, many may not be able to afford to do so. And if family and friends do gather, some will struggle to pay for a turkey and children may find fewer gifts under the tree this year.
Throw out all the buzzwords and cliché phrases, and Army leadership — if we are doing it right — is really just about empathy. We cannot afford to have our soldiers and their families suffer in silence; mentally, financially, or otherwise. Donate. If you are able, open your home. Pull out a couple of extra chairs around your Thanksgiving dinner table. Pick up the phone and call someone just to check in. Or maybe bring out the best in social media and reconnect with someone who just needs to know that you care.